Mulan

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.


I hate to start off my blog with a negative review, but this was the last movie I watched and want to write about it while it is still on my mind.

I had decided to bite the bullet. I can't stand listening to Chinese. But I love the story of Mulan. This movie is about that legendery girl, who most of us Americans know from the 1998 Disney film. The plot is basically the same, except take out the awesome Mushu, the cool fat dude, and add about eleven years.

The movie started off weird for me. First off, there is Vitas, all dressed in white, on a battlefield, with this look on his face that says, 'oh, I shouldn't have eaten those hot wings,' and this music playing in the background that is so high it's unreal.

There is no real telling of Mulan's life; ten minutes into the movie and she is at the army camp. You never get to really know her or her life. Then there is Wentai.

And WHAT THE HECK is with that?! Ok, he and Mulan become generals twenty minutes into the movie, and like four years go by. Then he pretends to die for like five years, but still manages to hide within the camp. And I mean, come ON. He's a fricking PRINCE. How is he hiding from his father? And wouldn't his father know if his son wasn't a general? And how did he go about hiding in the first place? And the thing he did with his blood for Mulan was kinda sweet, but also creepy.

I found out towards the end of the movie that the film took place over twelve years. GAH. And after waiting two hours for a nice ending, I DON'T GET ONE. Usually I am fine with unhappy endings. Heck, some of my favorite movies have the main character's die or one dies and the other is left alone. But this...a good ending would have been this movie's only redeeming quality.

Half a star out of five. Watchable, but blek.